Let’s think for a moment about what self-sabotage is?

The act of stopping yourself from fully experiencing what you wish,
holding yourself back in a surprising and often brutal way.
In many cases, the damage done is irreversible..
Why would we do that?
How have we created a way to keep ourselves from what we want by our own actions?

(Our human tendency to self-sabotage could even give you an excuse to not read this post- or maybe you will judge it along the way- read it anyway! I assure you we will ride the white dragon after digging the ground!)

I couldn’t find a pill to cure self-sabotage, although I was actively looking for one.
What I can offer instead is one of my best flashlights so it can’t hide from you anymore! You will be grow in your ability to spot the aspect of this attitude (including the very well hidden one). By bringing it into the light, it will definitely lose its negative power to destroy the things you care about the most.

Everything exposed to the light is transmuted into blessings and support.

Let’s remove the veil from that bizarre tendency to prevent what needs to happen from happening.

The characteristics are clearly seen when you observe your life with a lens for finding self-sabotage:
-A destructive impulsive behavior.
-An unseen, unexpected and unpredictable force.
-Like a firebomb, it hits fast and crushes everything it comes across. Uhhh….
-Something that feels as though it is ‘greater’ than you, possessing you, creating an impact whether you wish for it or not.

And so, breathe…

These destructive behaviors are the more obvious forms of self-sabatoge, but there is also passive self-sabotaging: Hiding your light.
-Making sure not to create progress in some areas of your life.
-Keeping confrontation out of your life at all costs.
-Avoiding experiencing your feelings, thoughts, or opinions.
-Insisting on being ignored.
-Waving away the light of attention and care,
Having attention is the way we demonstrate how to be or how not to be.

The project you blocked or the raise you prevented are your alibis. The same is true for secret friends you choose wisely to make sure that you won’t expand, that you do not shine, and that everything stays gray and moderate.
Self-Sabotage is a split between your will and your action.

A significant action can’t follow your will. Instead, it presents an entirely opposing behavior.
Here are some examples:

-Your entire body is present on a romantic date, but still you hear yourself using words that can hurt the person you’re interested in.
-Your efforts are directed to complete a project – and you choose to change a core segment just before the deadline, saddling yourself with a mission impossible.
-Your speech is ready and you manage to hurt your body a day before delivering it.
-You light the cigarette again, eat the extra piece of cake, get intimate with the one that hurt you. No one knows your game better than you.
The inability to gather your active parts to serve YOU indicate that it is the time to renovate your relationship with your fire, your passion, and your motivation.

You want your Action (fire) to follow the Will (direction).
(Some people self-sabotage because they can’t ignite their own fire and they are in need of a source of immediate excitement.)

Be clear about what matters to you,
trust that you deserve it because otherwise you wouldn’t even think of it!

Let go of resentment, bitterness and revenge.
As long those aspects are kept hidden and don’t have the permission to be liberated – they will keep on coming to the surface, and taking over the scene.

Why? Because –
Your shadow, like everything else in this world, is longing to be seen.
Your shadow, like everything else in this world, is attracted to the light.

Instead of taking those shadow aspects personally,
and being ashamed of them while holding them tight,
bring awareness.

Self-awareness is the antidote to self-sabotage.

A general overall awareness is challenging and not enough.
Look for awareness of the exact specific part of you that “executes” the negative impact!

Were you speaking? – heal your throat, check your inner dialog.
Did you hurt your leg? – watch your steps, clear your path.
and so on…

Those volcanoes of your inner landscape are the places to put your hands on and the aspect that is longing to ascend.

Those are also the gateways from which your inherent wisdom will spark.

Let them be magical geysers that draw rainbows in your skies, burning fountains of positivity and passion.

“From darkness into light
from ignorance to wisdom.”
P.S. In some way, we can also see the entire life experience, living in the great Maya – as an act of self-sabotage, the separation of the bright white unity. You can also let it sing for you and with you, knowing that this division is for you to experience the greatness of all.
PS.2. I invite you to get honest with your self-awareness in the comments today. Share the ways that self-sabotage is playing out in your life to keep you from the life you want.

Photo credit: @speckfechta Andreas Fidler_ Thank you

Homaya Amar

By Homaya Amar

While generating a powerful sacred space, Homaya Amar inspire to a profound authenticity and opens to the light and grace within. Leading worldwide seminars where ancient shamanic wisdom and fresh, lucid revelations dance as ONE, where miraculous healing and evolution of consciousness simply emerge.


  1. So powerful, sincronisity with an inner talk i had with myself now. Gives me clarity to read it now. My defense mechanism was playing in my head due to a fear, or not beleving something real is happening now.. though this real thing is happening now, my inner chatter was as i dont have it now, and once i.noticed, i said to myself; “that is an old vibe..!” i acknoledge and respect, throughout that i’m here today, and yet i lt it go. Then something imidiatly shifted within, and spirit guided me to this post. Thank you for this sacred inner space 💛

    1. So much love to you beloved Ren, SO much love, greater than words. Synchronicity means that you are completely in tune. wonderful guidance.
      I love you !!!

  2. Funny, I was thinking of asking you about this subject but somehow I ‘forgot’.. Sometimes it seems like my whole life has been shaped by this habit. Now I see it happening, and the determination to realise my potential is growing. I feel like my overcoming of this habit is inevitable. Its when, instead of if. Thanks and much love

    1. Thank you beloved Tim for reading and commenting and universal gratitude for being on devotional inner liberation path!!! I’m feeling joy knowing it.
      As well, please feel free to ask and propose topics to share light upon in this blog. It’s a gift for everyone involved.

  3. Hello dear Homaya,
    Reading you today, helped me a lot, crossing a difficult moment of doubting of myself, of my light. Reading you, made me come to the insight that self-doubt it’s the self-sabotage it self. That part of myself, of my ego, that takes advantage of my shadows and it’s always telling me “don’t think that you are light because you are a bad person – see you had that dark thought, feeling, behavior, etc.” and makes me think that this shadow it’s the most part of me and that I’ll never manage to be in the light. And every time, I think I’ve climbed a step towards light, my self-sabotage mechanism shows me that I am two or more steps down towards shadow and this applies to all areas of my life. Thank you so much. Love and Blessings <3.

    1. Sweet Ana, thank you so much for sharing! This is a bright insight and liberation.
      We got used to believing in competition, winning and losing, so that shows itself also in our inner dialog.
      There are no step towards the light, you might have greater values, you can be more aligned, or more ethnic- but you will always be in the LIGHT, as LIGHT.
      Yes, obsessive self-doubts are sabotage. There is an amount if doubts that open you up to expand if you feel you start to feel captured it is a sign to stop.
      Love you!

  4. Wouah !!!! I see here the syncronicity, Nothing comes for Nothing … I have been reading about this topic for the past days and facing my “dark side”!!!
    I think we ALL have to face self-sabotage in our life and as you say it’s very painfull to look at it but liberating also.
    At the moment I have the best example of it with my daughter and I have to say I don’t know how to handle this.
    I miss you and really whish to see you soon.
    Lots of Love

    1. Dear Julie, thank you for sharing.
      I hug you
      And it would be wonderful to meet again
      And for you to see Gomme.
      I hold space with you as you are going through facing parts in you that long for light. Remember that those parts that we used to call shadows are the parts that are longing for light.
      Bring light and positivity and the topic will resolve, first within, after in reality.
      Love you!

  5. What a subjet!!!
    And even now I sabotage myself saying:
    Teresa you can not express Your feelings and story in English…
    May be in Your own language, but…
    The most significant sabotages in my life have been in love relationships.
    To destroy what I most love!!! To destroy the possibility to be happy.
    “I don’t deserve it” was almost a compulsion.
    I AM better as I get old…but…
    (You see the “but”s? The pattern?)
    Such a Light, such a Shadows!
    This subjet is HUGE!!!
    Thank you my love!
    I MUST love!!!!!

    1. TERESA you ARE love!!!!
      Yes, this topic is an important one! And yes, like you many people kill intimacy,🌹 I feel it is connected to expansion and growth. If you are ok to expand, to be seen, to be huge, most likely you would not sabotage the relationship.
      You might end them, or change their vibration.
      Be love
      Be loved

  6. Oh wow what a topic! So important and so frequently ignored..
    I can keep “doing the work” fantastically, but when this one shows up –
    I turn back into a 3 year old.
    It’s painful to see how my self sabotage is also hurting the ones I love most.
    Through seeing how I approach my partner, lately, I started to see how I really talk to myself,
    bringing the energy level down, un-supporting vibrations, it is the opposite of what I wish,
    it is the opposite of how most of the other people on my life see me..
    it sure feels like a split that dis-encourages me to be in communication and in commitment –
    because something inside knows – no matter how I appear “outwardly” – very little will probably change inwardly,
    where I long to it the most.
    Thank you for sharing this, keeping the alert in this place is beneficial for me at this moment.
    Love you and bless you

    1. Courageous Smadar, thank you for sharing so honestly what you feel and where you are at.
      I can feel you and echo in some places.
      Yes, seeing the truth is not only about knowing our divinity it is also about embracing our humanity. Both together empowers you to hold space to the inner storms, to accept the waves, to discern when it is Sabotage and when a cleans and take charge of the way it wishes to live through you.
      I feel the need to add a little guidance:
      Instead of relation to inward as the unexposed parts in you, look at inward as the center of your presence.
      That core part of you is not where the demons live.
      Only your pure eyes know where. That will always keep you safe.
      Let me know if this landed well on you.
      Keep the love, my dear soul.

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