CHANGES – GROWING FROM SADNESS [Text]
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The Cycle of life is a constant process of change – from birth, creation and becoming until withering and disconnection. Changes are inevitable – every moment, every minute. Future becomes present, present becomes past, energy transforms into matter and back into energy. Body changes form, moves around, transforms.
In certain aspects almost every change has embedded in it a separation and undoubtedly every separation brings about change. So in order to transform reality on the physical level we are required to allow a separation, to disconnect from that which is no longer relevant, to release the past, that which has played out its role in life.
Life is full of separations: daily, predictable, dramatic, inevitable, happy or painful… And these separations adorn many forms: disconnection, dismembering, breaking off, leaving behind, abandoning and releasing.
Often these separations will be planned and orderly and will create, quite quickly, a sense of joy and relief as in completing and bringing to a close a certain period in our lives. Moving to a new home, giving up a job, finishing studies or a change in the workplace. These are changes we have anticipated for a while, we have created them and thus wanted to release something in our lives.
In this case the process of our personal letting go occurs before it actually happens on the physical plane. We are actually growing into the change. These are the kinds of changes that are more easy for us to accept by understanding that we are letting go of something in our past in order to move on and evolve towards the future with faith and enthusiasm.
However it is those changes which are unexpected, the ones we did not anticipate that are more difficult to accept. We find it difficult to understand that in these challenges too lies a letting go of patterns, limitations and opinions that leads up to to the realization of a necessarily different future.
In any case, no matter in what manifestation this separation chooses to take place on the physical plane, whether it is painful or not, predictable or unpredictable, it will include emotion. Emotion is not a choice. It exists in the physical body as an inherit reaction to life circumstances.
Sorrow and grief are the primary emotions we experience when we encounter loss. Be it a personal loss of a loved one by separation or death, or loss of a prized material possession. The complete healing process from the experience will include feelings of confusion, anger and fear as well.
Great importance is given to the expression of sorrow and to the process of mourning. Naturally, our physical and mental structures allow a limited period of time for this to occur, and still at its end we linger on with the feelings of sadness and hold on to it as if it were the experience of loss itself, a feeling of union with that loved one with whom we have parted. Others might avoid releasing their sadness altogether because any expression of that emotion in order to release it would be perceived as weakness.
In both cases – releasing the sadness and letting it out of the body is in itself a recognition that this is the process that occurred. The fact is we aren’t always ready to handle it…
The Shamans, Native American healers from Mexico, describe the cycle of healing from sorrow in four stages:
In the first stage we experience the disconnection. A feeling of shock, disbelief and refusal to accept the fact. We realize something is missing. The universe had placed us at the starting point of a journey through separation and renewal and we are caught off-guard, surprised and baffled from the unexpected change in our life. Some people can remain in this stage for a very long time.
Even though they have seemingly returned to their daily routine, in fact they haven’t begun the process of understanding and assimilating what has happened.
The second stage is characterized by lack of clarity and confusion. Perceiving our new reality with misleading eyes and from a standpoint of unclear boundaries, as our existential space which held within it certain familiar energy patterns and relationships had changed abruptly. This lack of clarity manifests as anger and frustration. The sense of abandonment is amplified. “How could he/she leave me?…” he anger could be aimed towards that lost loved one, the world or towards God. This stage expresses itself differently with each individual and in every situation. At times the feeling of guilt will overwhelm us, we will be angry with ourselves – as we are the ones who determined the destiny of our loved one. We will have doubts about ourselves, about our sense of belonging and our ability to redefine ourselves, sometimes up to the point of desperation. This is a very emotional stage. The Shamans compare this stage to the stage of childhood in the cycle of birth and death.
In the third stage we internalize. This is where the silent healing occurs through concentration, seclusion and solitude. There is a recognition in the facts and a reevaluation of our new reality. In this stage we rest, retire from society (or at least from certain aspects of our social engagement) in order to allow ourselves to heal from our spiritual/emotional/mental wound and redefine the entire structure, just as we would if the our physical body had been injured.
The fourth and last stage is closure and new beginning. This stage includes acceptance, willingness and understanding of the process, its meaning and advantages. Returning to the community or tribe when we are redefined by ourselves and the people around us.
Every stage in which we linger, every release which we do not allow to unfold and lead us to its completion leaves behind residue in our bodies and minds. The failure to express and release sorrow leaves us bound in an unrealistic world which does not exist any more.
The Curanderos, a lineage of Shaman healers who have their roots in Mexico, use a deep energy healing technique in order to allow us to powerfully complete the cycle of healing the sorrow and move through all four stages entirely, releasing what is not in actuality any longer and creating space for new personal growth.
Stage by stage in a slow and sensitive healing process they outline the whole and natural healing cycle of our sorrow on the body’s aura. They remove the energy concentration points where the sorrow resides in our energetic bodies and transform them into love. Releasing confusion and planting clarity, renouncing separateness and reconnecting us again.
Due to the immense sadness, love and longing we feel for our loved one, pet or object we have separated from, it is often difficult to understand such a process as something which can support us, the emotion taints everything. Releasing the energy of sorrow from the body’s aura allows us to see and feel the empowering aspect such a profound and difficult process can give us and help us evolve in our personal process in the private cycle of life.
The result – a substantial sense of relief accompanied with joy and an openness to love and create a new reality.
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